Words to Live by

INT. FILM DUNGEON - NOON

The idea of a "top movie quotes" list is not exactly new. Thousands and thousands of such lists are created EVERY second somewhere in the world. Or something. But instead of a traditional "best of" list, how about doing a "my personal favorites" list? A list of movie quotes I, myself, actually use every day!

So without further ado, here's a list of stuff you can actually hear me say on a daily basis!

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MY PERSONAL TOP MOVIE QUOTES LIST

"Nonsense, Maurice!"
from Madagascar (2005)

A quote from one of my favorite films, and a handy put down of anyone who dares to say something I disagree with (it happens more often than you'd think). You have to say it, though, in that weird King Julian accent.

"My nipples explode with delight!"
from the Monty Python sketch Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook

I could probably litter this page with Monty Python quotes if I so desired, but I won't. To compensate, I've chosen this unbeatable quote, which is actually from the TV-show. You will find it impossible to express unadulterated excitement any other way from now on!

"How long is this going to take?!"
from Madagascar (2005)

Ever find yourself being impatient with something, like a computer or a co-worker? Try screaming this at them, again, you have to use that King Julian accent.

"This isn't going to have a happy ending..."
from Se7en (1995)

On top of being the best film ever made, Se7en sports this chilling quote from the stoic Morgan Freeman, spoken at a particularly crucial time in the film. You can use this, as you embark on a futile endeavour, you just can't get out of.

"You are a sad, strange little man."
from Toy Story (1995)

You might get slapped in the face when you say this to someone, but it's so worth it. Watch the utter horror in the eyes of a friend or foe, as you obliterate their soul and crush their spirit with this perfect prose. Works on girls too.

"The horror... The horror..."
from Apocalypse Now (1979)

In the face of stupidity, shock or disbelief, you can't go wrong with the classic closing line from Francis Ford Coppola's epic war film. Also a great way to call out posers. People who have actually seen the film will nod silently, posers will ruin the moment with talk.

"I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why."
from Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Speaking of talk (Wow! That's kinda meta!) If you ever need to hint at some information to somebody, while pointing out that they are not cool enough to be completely included, this is the way to go! Try channeling Brad Pitt's suave attitude when you use it.

"Here she comes to wreck the daaaaaaay!"
from Liar Liar (1997)

Scream this when a dear friend (preferably male) enters the room. Works best if complete strangers are watching.

"They mostly come at night. Mostly."
from Aliens (1986)

There's not really any immediately obvious use for this, I'll admit, it just sort of pops of every so often, when you're in geek company!

"Damn! That's good TV!"
from Showtime (2002)

You can use this when you marvel at a superior TV-show, or you can use it when you're mocking a truly atrocious one, which - let's face it - is more likely to happen.

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BONUS: THREE UTTER NONSENSE QUOTES

"Your lies are like bananas. They come in big yellow bunches."
from Wrongfully Accused (1998)

This is the best line Leslie Nielsen ever spoke. Ever.

"We mohst contaarct the zeeeenat!" "Are you braindead?"
from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999)

Well, this wonderful classic exchange is not even the worst thing in the movie. You have to get the weird Asian accents just right, though.

"My earpiece in failing, you got me on GPS!"
from Mission: Impossible II (2000)

This is what happens when you work in a DVD store and have the same damn movie running in the background for a week. You'll pick up increasingly random quotes from films.

BONUS: THREE "CHARM THE PANTS OF A FILM GEEK" QUOTES

No titles or explanations here. You have to know these, or be square.

"Do you REALLY believe that there's some stored up conflict that exists between us? There IS no us. WE don't exist. So who do you wanna hit, man? It's not me."

"How do I make a film called the Old Mill, when I don't have an old mill?"
"Well, first you gotta change the title"

"Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f**k the prom queen." "Carla was the prom queen!" "Really?"

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FINAL THOUGHTS

Since I quote movies more often than I breathe I'm sure I forgot some, watch out for a 2.0 list!

Also, please leave your favorite quotes in the comments below.

And with that it's game over man, it's game over!

FADE TO BLACK

Acknowledgements

Thanx to Dennis Rosenfeld, who often finds himself the target of these quotes!