INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT
A question popped into my mind as I was watching "Pocahontas" recently and had some impure thoughts... Which animated babes are my favorites? Since we're in the middle of Easter, it's the perfect time for a rather shallow post on this subject.
Pocahontas from Pocahontas (1995)
I recently saw Disney's "Pocahontas" for the first time ever. I had always avoided it, because I thought it looked boring, but after "Avatar" this movie seemed like a good idea. Same story. A third of the running time.
With Pocahontas the Disney animators have really outdone themselves. She's beautiful, classy, and she moves with the grace of a cat. If only that brutish, cornfed white guy would get out of the movie, we could enjoy her just running around being one with nature and shit.
Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
On the opposite side of the tracks we find that bombshell of über naughtiness: Jessica Rabbit. Besides giving us the opening quote, she brings "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" into a completely different league. And the husky Kathleen Turner voice, man, don't even get me started on that.
Because of this movie many young boys can pinpoint the exact moment they became men: It was when Jessica Rabbit took the stage in The Ink and Paint Club, wearing a dress so thin it was barely there, and sang her little heart out to the tune of "Why Don't You Do Right?"
Aki from Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
This one is ever so slightly obscure, mostly because no-one saw the film, and it's sort of drifted into oblivion, but I still like it.
Aki represents the first true mainstream attempt at a fully realized, photo-real digital character in a major feature film. In that respect, she's a monumental failure. They get her about 95 percent right, but it's that last 5 percent that kills the illusion. There's something about the face that doesn't quite ring true. On top of that she's stuck in a plot that doesn't make any sense, but that's hardly her fault. In spite of all this, I wanted her to be real. I liked her, and I felt for her, much more than I did for those Pandemic blue fairies.
Major Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell (1995)
We may not be able to understand a word of what she says - and not just because she speaks Japanese - but Major Motoko Kusanagi wears a uniform, and that's good. She frequently takes it off, which is even better. She's also a robot, which some would consider a bit of a drawback, but think about this: She will always be perky, she will never grow old. I mean, how good will those Jessica Rabbit curves look, when she hits fifty, right?
The Major has mystique, she's armed, and in case you need some quiet time, she's got an off-switch. I'd say that's a perfect package.
Eve from Wall*E (2008)
Eve is hot. And it's not just because she looks like a Mac. Well, actually... it's probably mostly because she looks like a Mac! No, hang on a second, she's got other qualities as well. She flies, she shoots, and she's curiously devoted. She's got the patience of a saint, easy access to upgrades, and even if you're fired off into space, she'll follow and retrieve you!
Seriously, what's not to like?
My thoughts at the moment are not fit for printing. Have a great Easter.
FADE TO BLACK.