I think it's safe to say that 2020 has secured a prominent place in the history books. I won't bore anybody with a recap of all the things that went wrong, this is a day for looking forward. Like to the day when The Dump Trump finally chokes on a Big Mac and dies an agonizing death in front a roomful of spineless enablers, who watch in eerie silence, as they realize the moment they've waited so long for is finally here. But I digress.
For a few years now I've had a tradition where I watch Interstellar on the last movie night of the year. That's the 30th, of course, since the 31st is reserved for other things. This year, I felt like watching something else. I felt like watching All the President's Men (1976). It seemed especially fitting to watch this film, this year. After all it's a story about how two reporters, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, took down the most powerful man in the world with a simple weapon: The truth.
So much could be said about All the President's Men, but I'll keep it simple.
This film should not work. It deals with investigative reporters who spend half time on phones, the other half typing. And yet, this is a stone cold masterpiece. A story where the heroes are armed with only pens and paper, and where the villains are never seen, save for a bit of stock footage. It's nothing short of astonishing. The fact that this film manages to feel as relevant as ever today, is also astonishing. Or perhaps depressing. No, let's go with astonishing.
Like I said, I'll keep it simple, so I'll highlight 3 moments from the movie, in dialogue.
1) This observation from Deep Throat, aka Mark Felt, seemed especially pertinent, in light of the last four years:
"Forget the myths the media's created about the White House. The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand."
2) I love this exchange between managing editor Howard Simons and reporter Bob Woodward:
Simons: "Did you call the White House press office?"
Woodward: "I went over there; I talked to them. They said Hunt hadn't worked there for three months. Then a PR guy said this weird thing to me. He said, 'I am convinced that neither Mr. Colson nor anyone else at the White House had any knowledge of, or participation in, this deplorable incident at the Democratic National Committee.'"
Simons: "Isn't that what you expect them to say?"
Woodward: "Absolutely."
Howard Simons: "So?"
Woodward: "I never asked about Watergate. I simply asked what were Hunt's duties at the White House. They volunteered he was innocent when nobody asked if he was guilty."
Simons: "Be careful how you write it."
3) And finally, there's executive editor Ben Bradlee's last speech to the boys:
"You know the results of the latest Gallup Poll? Half the country never even heard of the word Watergate. Nobody gives a shit. You guys are probably pretty tired, right? Well, you should be. Go on home, get a nice hot bath. Rest up... 15 minutes. Then get your asses back in gear. We're under a lot of pressure, you know, and you put us there. Nothing's riding on this except the, first amendment to the Constitution, freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country. Not that any of that matters, but if you guys fuck up again, I'm going to get mad."
I can't capture in simple text just how riveting this movie is, so if for some odd reason you haven't seen it, you'll just have to take my word for it and get on with it.
Of course All the President's Men should have cleaned up at the Oscars in 1976, but this was a particularly strong year, so it didn't. It was competing against Taxi Driver and Network. Think about THAT trio for a second. All the President's Men. Taxi Driver. Network. Did 1976 just look 44 years into the future, straight into our soul?
Depressingly Rocky took the top Oscars that year, a fact that grows more and more embarrassing with every year. Don't get me wrong, Rocky is a cute little film, but next to these timeless masterpieces it comes off as finger painting.
Rewatching All the President's Men, in light of 2020, in light of the orange fucktard, in light of The Rona, and the inept work from contemporary journalists, I'm both encouraged and scared. If we pull ourselves together we CAN right this ship. But we do need to fucking pull ourselves together.
So stay safe. Wear a mask. Don't be a dick. And hopefully in a year, the world will be in a better shape.
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